Friday, December 15, 2006
**failed-passed-credit-distinction**after gaining 2 distinctions in a row, last night i passed my taekwondo grading and was awarded a credit.. it was ok, for me. but just OK.. on the way home i was rehearsing what i was gonna tell my parents.. i didn't know how to say it.. "i was disappointed. and surely they would be." i was thinkin.. so i got home, ate some spaghetti as i was totally knacked after using up all my strength and power to, from, and during the grading (take note: taekwondo grading 5.00 pm straight after school, not to mention how i get to and from school-i walk).. then my parents got home, i heard how they were praising and patronising my little sister, makee, as they have just been to her school programme.. after all the praises, they eventually asked how my grading went, expecting me to say ive got another distinction award.. well unfortunately, i didnt.. told them i got a credit, and no one else got a distinction.. my parents acted as expected.. in shock, and of course, disappointed.. i could see. anyone can tell.. dad said "bakit credit lang?".. i didnt answer.. tears formed behind my eyes but of course, i should hide it.. so half-way through eating my spaghetti, i went to the toilet to wipe those freakin tears away.. i wouldn't want them to see me crying.. got back then my brother, justin, walked past.. he asked dad "why is ate crying?".. haha. that time, i was still holdin back my tears, controlling myself.. but when dad stared at me and asked me what's wrong, i lost control.. i couldn't help but cry.. i was such a failure.. i could've done better.. could've got that distinction.. however, suprisingly, for the first time my dad came up to comfort me and told me "it's alright.. im still proud of you.. for me, you're the best.." i felt better.. much much better.. those words were all i needed..
this morning i was still thinkin about that grading.. i even ignored peterpen when i walked past him on my way to school (now that was a shock).. all my friends noticed how 'grumpy' i was.. we had a free lesson so we played the game "pictionary".. my friends thought it was a good idea as i am an 'arty' person.. i could see they were trying so hard to cheer me up.. and i really appreciated it.. eventually i forgot about the grading, forgot about my grumpyness, and felt alot better..
looking back, i realised how other people really care about me.. though, almost all of them realy don't show it.. before, i thought all my efforts were just useless coz no one appreciated them.. but i was wrong..
getting '2nd best' or less than a distinction doesn't mean im rubbish.. and it doesnt stop me from doing taekwondo and aiming high... indeed i have high expections and much disappointment was the result.. but im just gonna do my best, accept all compliments, or otherwise, and know that SUCCESS is never final and FAILURE is never fatal.. it's the COURAGE that counts..
...this is my secret
