ma vie

taekwondo strike 2

2007-07-21T19:24:00.000+01:00

taekwondo strike 2

i was touched when my instructors sent me a postcard saying "we miss you in class" so i thought i should give it another try.

it really is so nice to be back doing taekwondo again after my GCSE exams. now i finally got my new belt and distinction certificate hahaha. being back after 3 months or so of being idle kinda feels like im doing taekwondo for the first time all over again.

i just remembered my first day in taekwondo [same day when i first met peterpen] HAHA. oh such memories. he caught my attention back then. of course. who wouldn't notice the amazing and cuteness taekwondo black belter with blonde hair and greyish blue eyes performing his black belt pattern perfectly in front of the trainig hall. embarassing for me to mention but i was standing there literally slack-jawed with nothing to say. LOL. here i go again. on and on about how gorgeous i think he is. it amazes me how i actually found someone who's like an inch from perfection. the qualities i was describing on my "who i want to meet" section of my friendster profile, long ago before i met him, which i actually described as "non-existent" by the end of that list. hah! he just proved me wrong. he's got the looks, the brains, the talent, and such great personality. funny, smart, friendly, gentleman, sporty, musically inclined, martial arts enthusiast [and the list could go on forever]. what more can you ask for? i remember on my first day in taekwondo we had a little break and he asked me whether i had something to drink. and i didnt. so he showed me where the canteen was and got me something to drink. aawww sweet. and when i got my dobok [i.e. taekwondo uniform] he offered to show me where the toilets are, but being all weird and panicky around my crush i then said no. LOL. and instead of teaching me taekwondo, we talked for ages [because apparently i was too good to learn that easily] and we got on really well. and when he was about to leave he'd wait for ages holding that door open until i got out hahaha. and he wouldn't leave without saying "bye" to me no matter how far i was. (~~,) basically the same things happened today which is why im really happy. and not to mention, inspired to write on my blog HAHAHA.

ang bago kong kaibigan... bow!

2007-05-06T15:37:00.000+01:00

ang bago kong kaibigan... bow!

si KLEV ay mayroong bagong kaibigan
KRIS ang kanyang pangalan
dalawang araw palang silang nagkakasama
sa park sila'y nagsasaya
kasama nila IJ, KL, at GISELLITA
silang lahat ay close na close na!

kung anu anong kabaliwan ang kanilang naiisipan
volleyball, badminton, patintero at habulan
maging ang big slide sa park, kanilang sinakupan
kawawang mga batang walang kalalaban laban
at syempre sa grupong ito, mawawala ba naman
picture dito, picture jan, at kung saan saan!

kaya't para sa bagong kaibigan na KRIS ang ngalan
handog ni KLEV ay salamat at walang anuman
welcome to the group kanyang sinasambit-an
sa anumang krimen (tulad ng panlalaet) sila'y magdadamayan!

easter

2007-04-27T20:55:00.000+01:00

easter

sa sobrang busy ng buhay, ngyon palang ako mag-uupdate ng blog ko.. ok ok, first let’s pick it up where we left off.. easter hols.. soo much fun actually i didn’t realise it would be that fun, thot id just stay home as usual and do absolutely nothing.. but luckily, i didn’t.. nag-picnic kami nila ate ij, kl, at ate giselle kasama si makee like 3 times, and on one occasion kasama nmen sila popoy at justin at naglaro ng ball games, taguan, “big slide” at syempre mawawala ban man ang pictorial haha! and we even had a party-ish on easter.. here are some of our pics:

pero meron din nman nakakainis na mga pangyayari na sa sobrang annoying ay a yoko nang alalahanin at i-kwento sa blog ko...

ngyon ay kakatapos lamang ng art exam nmen.. went quite well pero until now im worried dhil i didn’t

even feel nervous or anything which isn’t normal considering that i didn’t have much on my prep works.. i only had like 8 drawings and probably 10 big n proper experimentations.. since the exam was 10 hours, i finished my final piece during the 5 hours and then did my prep sheets during the rest of the 5 hours.. i hope it goes well, i.e. i hope i’d at least achieve my target grade, which was A* hahaha..

i should really be revising by now dahil konting panahon na lamang, like 2 weeks or so, ay GCSE exams na nmen.. next week ay ang French oral exam ko.. =S kakatakot.. but then again, if u come to think about it, matatapos ko na ang year 11!! then, graduatena ako! woohooooooooooo!

easter hols

2007-03-30T21:24:00.000+01:00

easter hols

school term has come to an end once again.. today is our last day of term.. been into so much stress these past few weeks and so knowin that im havin a little break for 2 weeks is just a big relief..

i had my taekwondo grading and successfully passed "with flying colours" (a quotation from peterpen haha), even got a distinction award! ha! in ur face mr. black belter!!! peterpen who constantly teased me for "accidentally" doing the twin forearm block in a funny way.. what he got from me was a punch when i walked past him in town hahaha!

i also finished all 3 units of my art courseworks today, even skived yesterday to finish one WHOLE unit.. i even had a paper cut because i was in such a hurry finishing my art courseworks..

at the end of the day i was rewarded with a Pizza Hut treat supposedly by KL because she's the bday girl, but since she's the bunso ate ij paid for the bill..she even had an arguement with the stupid waitress who took literally more than an hour to serve our dessert and still had the guts say our bill was apparently £80!! >.< grrr, if i was there i would have got into a full on fight with that stupid waitress, not only giving her the "EVILS" on the plate hahaha!! otherwise, i had so much fun today talking to ate ij, KL and ate sel about alot of stuff, criticising random people with them and we even watched a full on PDA (Public Display of Affection) by the library (which lasted for like half an hour or so) and by the bus stop where we filmed the bus driver who was comfortably sat, drinking his coffee/tea whilst watching the 2 teenagers show their love and affection like they were just in a bedroom all by themselves.. i also enjoyed our little "Coke out of the nose" game with ate giselle hahahaha and the man who was either drunk or was just really stupid to walk into the glass which we were sat by..

"yodelly good"

kapal ng mukha mo!

2007-03-15T20:13:00.000+01:00

kapal ng mukha mo!

ang kapal ng mukha mo!! after everything that’s happened u really think i’d still have feelings for you??!!! well think again, bastard! i know i’ve been so stupid to fall for someone like you, and i regret having you in my life, but i’m not THAT stupid to make the same mistake again!! ang ayos ayos ng buhay ko tapos guguluhin mo nnman!! may padramadrama ka pang nalalaman hinayupak ka!! dba sabi mo if it’s over, it’s over?? eh anong ginagawa mo ngyon?! nagmumulto ka! bakit? nagsawa ka na sa mga babae mo at ako nman ang pinaplano mong targetin ulit?! ha!! neknek mo!!!!! manigas ka!!! wag ka lang magpapakita saken kundi baka di ko lang mapigilan sarili ko at kung ano pang magawa ko sayo!! stop pushin yourself into my life!! not the person you said you were, after all?!!! just stay out of my life ok!! im so much better off without you!!

grrrrrrrrr!!!!!! I HATE YOU!! saksak mo yan sa kokote mo!!!

**kawawang shuttlecock gutay gutay tuloy pagkatapos ng PE lesson nmen! well at least i won 3 consecutive badminton matches.. can't wait to get all that anger out in taekwondo!!!!

(>.<)

bastard!

2007-03-08T00:26:00.000+01:00

go and die you BASTARD!

after nearly a year or so, why the hell would you wanna ask me how i'm doin and fuckn come into my life like nothing's happened? after i have moved on, after realising my stupidity and after surviving from the tragic past that you have given me, all of a sudden you're just gonna text me, ruin my beautiful day, and restore all the pain by making me remember all the things that i have tried to forget in such a long timel!! what right do you think you have to even call me "hun"?! who do you think you are, you fuckn BASTARD!! you said you just remembered me? what a lame excuse.. well you know what, you can forget everything about me because to be honest i don't fuckn care about you anymore and i have considered you DEAD eversince!! you've put me through enough!! i'm so much better off without you so just get out of my life!! RIGHT OUT!

at times like this, it's so good to know that i have one very good friend,
though normally doesn't seem like it, that's always there whenever i need
someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on.. who gives me useful advice
whenever i just feel like crying because i don'r know what to do.. who
understands me despite my silence.. thanks natalie.

lasing

2007-03-07T00:32:00.000+01:00

lasing

meron akong kwento. ito ay tungkol sa aking kakilala na may asawa at pamilya. ang lalaking ito mahilig uminom ng alak. hindi ko sinasabing siya ay lasinggero sapagkat ang lalaking ito ay may sakit sa dugo, "high blood" kung tawagin, at ang kanyang karamdaman ay ang dahilan kung bakit siya ay naghinayhinay muna sa pag iinom ng alak.

ngunit isang araw ay bumaba ang kanyang dugo sa "normal" kung kaya't siya ay nagdiwang at nagpunta sa isang "party".. "party" kung saan ay inuman lamang ang pangunahing ipinagdiriwang.. siya ay nagpakalunod sa alak at kanyang inabuso ang pagiging libre sa dahilang ang kanyang asawa na isang nurse ay galing 'late shift' nang gabing iyon.. ang lalaking aking ikinukwento ay maaga umuwi.. maaga umuwi sapagkat alas quatro na ng umaga nang siya ay nakarating ng kanyang tahanan na, sa awa ng diyos, ligtas pa at buhay..

pag dating ay agad agad siyang dumeretso sa kanilang silid at doon ay natulog sa kama.. dahil sa umaalingasaw niyang amoy, ang kanyang butihing asawa ay hindi na nakatiis kung kaya't ito ay lumipat at natulog na lamang sa kanilang sala..

kinaumagahan, mga alas siette ng umaga ay kinakailangan bumangon ng sinasabi kong lalaki dahil kailangan niyang ihatid ang kanyang asawa na papasok nang "early shift".. maswerteng lalaki, nakatulog ng tatlong oras.. ngunit paglabas niya nang kanilang bahay ay kanyang ipinagtaka kung bakit mas malamig sa karaniwan ang kanyang pakiramdam.. at pagpasok sa kanyang kotse, kung saan ay naghihintay si misis, ay tila lasing paren si lalaki.. bakit ko nasabi? dahil sinigawan siya ng kanyang asawang humahalakhak at nagsabing "hoy! bakit nakabrief ka lang?!! bumalik ka don at magbihis ka!!!" -.-

no... no!!

2007-03-06T00:08:00.000+01:00

no... no!!

scott asked me out twice, and i turned him down twice haha.. i mean, if someone says no, why would you wanna ask 'em out again and be turned down for the second time? he's gotta take all the hints!! but honestly, in a way i kinda feel sorry for him.. i know he likes me.. well durrh?!.. and i can see he's trying hard to impress me, well everyone really.. but i could tell that he does try hard just for me to like him.. however despite all his efforts, i still don't feel even a tinnie winnie bit for him.. coz i like someone else, peterpen of course.. even though i dont like him as much as i used to, i still like him, like, like him like him.. got it? yea i know, even i am confused.. but really, i've already given up on him.. in fact i dont even care if i see him or not.. but i must admit that he still makes my heartbeat jump a second of two when he smiles or talks to me.. perhaps one of the reasons why i have given up on him is becuase of scott... nooo not in that way, no! i mean, i sort see myself in scott... he's like a reflection of me.. both of us like someone who doesn't like us back.. and i've come to realise that i have indeed tried hard just for peterpen to like me, but not anymore i've promised to myself.. scott reminds me of what i used to do.. and i hate it.. so i've decided not to make much fool of myself and stop this non sense..

late? or never?

2007-03-02T18:18:00.000+01:00

late? or never?

today i woke up late and left at about 8:30 am, 30 minutes late compared to usual. i walked at a fast pace but decided that i shall catch the bus instead because there was no way that i would get to school on time. i arrived at the bus station at 8:40 am (5 minutes before the time that the school bell would ring) and, unfortunately, there was no sight of any south wilts grammar school student so i sat down and waited for the next bus to come. i waited... waited patiently for 30 minutes but nothing but those that aren't going pass SWGS came. so i decided just to go home and spend the time constructively by doing my maths coursework instead.

in my opinion, "it's better late than never" is a totally crap saying because
you wouldn't be late if you don't turn up in the first place.. right? innit
mate?! hahaha!

glance

2007-03-02T17:40:00.000+01:00

glance

i was walking in town alone, on my way home, when i saw my new and latest prospect, whom i have named "cuteness ang mata" because he was NOT ONLY totally cuteness, but because his eyes stand out of all the other cuteness features that he has been blessed of. a dark brown haired, tanned, gorgeous, tall guy about 5'10 in height blessed with bigger-than-small chinito shaped eyes would capture every girl's heart especially if those eyes land on you.. i really wasn't expecting to see him in Old George Mall, but when i did, i immediately looked away, pretending i was looking at the shops.. but i couldnt help myself from looking, even for just a second, so when we were like half a metre apart, i quickly glanced at his direction... when i did, i saw him (or rather caught him) looking at me too!!... gosh! kiliiig! but i kinda panicked, as i always do, so i took my eyes off him quickly before he could notice that 'i fancy him' (or "he is my prospect" in my own terminology).. walking with a smile stuck on my face, people were looking at me and probably thinking "is she crazy?" or something.. but hell do i care!?! hahaha!

i dont know him personally.. all i know about him is that he goes to Bishops Wordsworth (Grammar) School because of the school uniform he was wearing and also because of the direction that he was heading to.. i dont know his year, his age, and not even his real name.. it just so happened that i always walk past him, usually in front of the shop called "QS" when we're crossing the road, when going to school in the morning.. i haven't noticed him until one day, i was looking at my iPod whilst crossing the road and suddenly realised that i should walk a bit faster otherwise i'd be ran over by the car and different bits of my body would scatter around the road.. when i looked up he was the first person i saw.. he was looking at me. it so happened that when i looked up, my eyes landed on his, so it was the first thing i've noticed.. about a few seconds after a full on eye-to-eye contact with this totally cuteness guy, after the "tameme" mode has been over, i looked at something else just to stop myself from staring at him
.........

people who know me well would know this.. just like the time after
school when i was walking past Tesco's with ate ivy and then she asked me where
peterpen could be and i answered "malamang wala" but when i looked up he was
standing right in front of me and i happened to look at him in the eye soooo, to
avoid this very awkward scenario, i looked at something just to take my eyes off
him.. and guess what? the first, nearest thing i looked at was a dustpan which
the cleaner was using! and i looked at it until ate ivy and i were already
inside Tesco hahaha!

.........
so from then on i always secretly glance, for like one second, at his direction whenever i walk past him every morning..

gay

2007-02-27T22:22:00.000+01:00

gay

i just called peterpen "gay" hahaha.. we were chattin on msn, then he went on about scott, saying scott fancies me and all that crap.. so i acused him of being gay.. i said he was the one who fancies scott, though i know he isn't really gay (i hope).. but we both agreed that scott is bi.. haha poor scott.. it's soo funny whenever i call peterpen gay, as in face to face, and then he acts like one.. i really love his sense of humour.. it really gets me even at times when i feel like i hate him... he makes me laugh all the time, makes me forget everything that stresses me out...

ive finally come to reality and come to my senses again.. i give up.. yes i know i've said this before.. but now i finally realised that all he wanted to share with me was friendship, so that's all i would expect from him.. and nothing more.. although, this time i wouldn't be in denial about my feelings anymore.. i admit that although im giving up on him, doesn't mean that i dont like him anymore.. coz i do. i really do.. and im not closing any doors, saying i will not hope that, somehow, he likes me like the way i feel for him... because i am.. but this time, i'll TRY not to.. so it won't hurt..

half term

2007-02-25T00:09:00.000+01:00

half term

been doing my maths coursework for ages! it really is easy to calculate all the formulae, solve the problem and prove my hypotheses.. however, collecting all the data is taking forever!! plus the computerised write ups with all the tables, charts, graphs etc.. so i didn't really do anythin fun this half term.. apart from katie's 16th party, that was wicked.. we had a chocolate fountain haha looooved it! although i felt quite sick after that.. then we watched "the devil wears prada" but i didn't get to finish it coz it was like 10:30pm and i had to go home..and wash the dishes! grrr >.<

asar!!

2007-02-22T23:53:00.000+01:00

badtripping

nkakaasar nman.. kanina andun na yung chance ko para kausapin si peterpen, tinanong ako ni Mr. Houston kung sino gusto ko ka-partner at nang hindi ako sumagot, ipinartner nia saken si peterpen.. kinakausap nia na nga ako pero nakakailang na siyang kausapin.. hindi tulad ng dati.. tpos nung nag-bye siya saken, nagmuka tuloy akong masungit dahil umiinom ako at hindi makasagot, kumaway lang ako pero feeling ko hindi nia napansin ung kaway ko dahil biglang nag-fade ung smile nia nang hindi ako sumagot.. akala nia siguro galit ako.. bading kasi siya eh..

tapos pagbukas ko ng friendster biglang nakita ko ung pangalan ni ex dun sa updated list.. nang tingnan ko ung updated photos nia, meron siyang picture kasama ng current syota nia na masasabi kong (hindi nman sa pagmamayabang at hndi ren dahil current syota siya ng ex ko) ang unang expression ko nang makita ko ang kanyang pic ay "yuck!!!" dahil sa totoo lang, ako hindi nman ako mayabang na tao at hindi ko ren nman sinasabing perpekto ako pero, sobrang layo ko kaya sa pagmumukha niya as in lamang ako ng sangkatutak na paligo.. at hindi lang basta bastang paligo, kasama nren todo todong hilod!!.. haii! nakakainis! para sa mga nag-iisip na nagseselos lang ako, PROMISE hindi!! sa pagkakataong ito, ako'y nagsasabi lamang ng katotohanan.. at kung sakasakaling makikita ko sila sa mall na magkasama, taas noo akong haharap, maglalakad, at magsasabing "PLEASE!! ang layo ha!".. sabay wasiwas ng buhok. mwahaha.

EWAN

2007-02-21T16:15:00.000+01:00

ewan

sabi ni katie may gusto daw saken si XP, malamang alam ko na yun dahil si XP mismo ang nagsabi saken nung isang gabi... tinatanong pa nia kung ok lang saken makipag usap ako kay XP nang personal at lumabas kaming dalawa.. ayesh! kilig dahil nga eX Prspect ko ung tao.. pero hmmm..... baket kaya ayoko siya patulan? malamang dahil matagal na kaming hindi nagkikita? o baka dahil alam ko hindi ren nman kami madalas magkikita? at wala ren nman patutunguhan ang kabulastugang eto? pero bakit? - bakit ko yun nasasabi nang hindi ko pa nga sinusubukan? tanong ni katie sa aken- sagot ko.. EWAN

secret

2007-02-20T18:46:00.000+01:00

secret

woooohh!!! ang dami talagang nagagawa ng mga websites na tulad ng FRIENDSTER, BEBO, at MYSPACE.. lalong lalo na ang MSN, at YAHOO MESSENGER.. maraming sekretong nabubunyag, mga lihim na nailalantad, mga tanong na matagal nang gustong itanong ngunit hindi magawa ay naitatanong, at kung sinuswerte, nabibigyang kasagutan ang mga tanong na ito... at kung minsan, ang mga websites na katulad nila ay nagiging outlet ng mga taong nakakaramdam ng "sobrang" emosyon. sobrang galit, sobrang inis, sobrang takot, sobrang excited, sobrang kilig, sobrang saya, sobrang lungkot at kung anu ano pang sobra...

tulad nalang ng nangyayari sa akin.. matagal tagal naren akong hindi nakakapag sulat sa aking munting blog... ngyon nga'y aking sisimulan.. well, anim na araw na rin ang nakakalipas nang magbakasyon kami para sa half term.. ngunit busy paren ako dahil sa walang katapusang courseworks.. pero kahapon ay merong nagpagawa saken ng birthday invitation.. at ito ang naging dahilan kung bakit nakapag internet nnman ako.

si mike na pinsan ng pinsan ko ngunit hindi ko pinsan, ay broken hearted. at guess what? sakin pa siya nagtanong kung paano makakalimot! hahaha.. natatawa ako sa mga words niya eh kasi sobrang corny, hindi ko siguro makakayang tumapat sa level ng ka-cornihan (siguro gnon tlaga pag inlove)...but at the same time ay naawa nren dahil mukang seryoso tlga siya.. kawawa nman siya.. sayang, cuteness pa nman... hindi deserving ung babae!!! grrrr.... but oh well...

isa pang kwento.. meron akong ex-prospect.. prospect ko dati sa st. josephs ngunit dahil nasa SWGS na ako ngyon, wala na syempre.. hanggang prospect lamang at hindi na umabot sa crush ang level dahil.. ewan, basta.. itago nalang natin siya sa pangalang "XP1" short for ex-prospect 1..

friend ko si XP sa bebo... gayun naren sa MSN.. itinanong niya saken kng kelan ako madalas mag online sa MSN, malamang dahil gusto nia ako ka-chat.. ngunit sabi ko ay walang eksaktong oras.. ganun pa man, tyempong online siya nung online ako so kami ay nag usap.. sabi pa nia ay tingnan ko daw ang bebo page ko dahil binigyan nia ako ng "love" (bagong pakulo ng bebo)... tpos saktong nakalagay sa status ko ay "watashiwa anata oaistomasu" dahil trip ko lang.. tinanong nia kung ano ang ibig sabihin nun sabi ko nman "that's japanese for i love you".. sabi nia, "ahh.. kl..".. matapos ay nag offline ako saglit upang maghugas ng pinggan (dakilang katulong).. pagbalik ko ay bigla nalang siya nag message "watashiwa anata oaistomasu lol".. dahil ang pagkakakilala ko sakanya ay mahilig magjowk, ako nman tinanggap ko yun as a jowk so reply ko lng ay "lol"... nang ako ay sobrang bored na, napadpad ako sa blog ko at nakita kong nagcomment pala si XP sa aking blog.. nakalagay:

1 hu r u? **XP**
2. r we friends?Yes
3. wen and hw did we meet?St Joes yr 9/10
4. hav u evr fancied me?Maybe
5. hav u ever wnted 2 punch me?Nooo
6. giv me a nikname and explain ykLeV cuz its short lol
7. describe me in 1 wordKl
8. wat was ur first impression ov me?kl wow lol
9. do u stil think the same?yes
10. wat reminds u of me?i dunno
11. If u cud giv me anything wat wud it b?i dunno
12. how well do u no me?wellish
13. wens d last time u saw me?bout a yr ago
14. ever wnted 2 tel me sumthin u cudnt? yes

dahil ako ay si Miss Curious, at dahil naren ako ay saksakan nang pagkabored, tinanong ko siya tungkol sa last question.. nagpaimportante nman ang mokong at sabi pa nga "be right back" ngunit hindi siya nakaligtas sa powers ko kaya eventually sinagot na nia.. sabi "erm, i kinda fancy u"... haha flattered nman ako!.. not knowing wot to reply, ginaya ko nalang ang sinabi sa akin ni peterpen, sabi ko "awww.. that's soo sweet"... matapos ng ilang taon ay nagreply siya "so wot do u think?"... aaminin kong kinilig ang lola mo ngunit mejo natakot naren kaya sinabi kong "erm.. sweet? lol.. anyway, im ff now.. i'll talk to u soon.. bye xxxx"..

cutenesses

2007-02-17T14:08:00.000+01:00

have a look at my not-so-latest obssessions

aaawwww.... my cuteness heechul...

and my cuteness kibum...

haii ~~,

just sharin' tha love

if only..

2007-02-14T16:25:00.000+01:00

if only..

if only there was love pollution, i would happily be a basurera..

well i guess everyone would be happy..

would someone throw some love to me?

labnat lagnat

2007-02-09T16:25:00.000+01:00

im ill... grrr.. of all the days, why thursday? hmp! hindi tuloy ako nakapagtaekwondo!

JOKE JOKE

2007-02-05T11:39:00.001+01:00

nagkausap nnman kami ni peterpen sa msn nung weekend.. anu ba yan nakakaasar! ayoko na nga sakanya eh pero merong evil force na nagtutulak saken para gawin ang mga bagay bagay na makakapaglagay saken sa alanganen.. tulad nlang ng walang kwenta nmen conversation.. eto:

**hephep! bago mo basahin, gusto ko lamang ipaalala na si badingerzzi ay si peterpen.. at si peterpen ay si... secret! haha! basta! code names lamang nia yan, mahirap na!**

badingerzzii says:
hey
(^^,kLeV says:
ello ello
(^^,kLeV says:
lol nice pic
badingerzzii says:
thats me drunk
badingerzzii says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
u alrite>?
badingerzzii says:
yerrr u
(^^,kLeV says:
yer tnx
(^^,kLeV says:
erm
(^^,kLeV says:
do u kno scott's number?
badingerzzii says:
yerrrr y? you fancy him?
(^^,kLeV says:
no!
badingerzzii says:
yer ok
badingerzzii says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
sum1 wants to kno but i got a new number so i dont have his number
badingerzzii says:
i only got his home number
(^^,kLeV says:
i dont fancy him ok!
badingerzzii says:
ok
badingerzzii says:
:P
(^^,kLeV says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
ok so wot is it?
badingerzzii says:
504802
badingerzzii says:
(01722)
(^^,kLeV says:
ok tnx
(^^,kLeV says:
erm ur not on my list
(^^,kLeV says:
can i hav urs? lol
badingerzzii says:
iz cuz u didnt hav my number lol 07783586057
badingerzzii says:
that was a sneaky way of gettinma number
badingerzzii says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
lol nahh i didnt wanna but since ive asked scotts no. thot id ask urs as well
(^^,kLeV says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
:P
badingerzzii says:
oh ok
(^^,kLeV says:
y?
(^^,kLeV says:
do u think i fancy u? lol
badingerzzii says:
no lol it was a joke
(^^,kLeV says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
i do tho
badingerzzii says:
reli? ( i dnt no whether ur jokin or not any more lol)
(^^,kLeV says:
yea
badingerzzii says:
awww thats so cute
(^^,kLeV says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
i was jokin lol
badingerzzii says:
yer ok (lol ahhahahahaha)
(^^,kLeV says:
hahaha
(^^,kLeV says:
im such a bad liar
badingerzzii says:
mmmmhmm
badingerzzii says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
lol u didnt believe me did u?
badingerzzii says:
i believe wot i get told lol
(^^,kLeV says:
hahahaha
(^^,kLeV says:
so now u think i reli fancy u?
badingerzzii says:
no
badingerzzii says:
cuz u told me
badingerzzii says:
that u didnt
badingerzzii says:
which confused me somewhat
badingerzzii says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
can i view ur webcam? lemme see ur face haha
badingerzzii says:
lol

then after ilan pang topics, eto..

(^^,kLeV says:
wot subjects r u takin?
badingerzzii says:
umm
badingerzzii says:
french business studies geography and english literature
(^^,kLeV says:
kl
(^^,kLeV says:
french geek
badingerzzii says:
:D
badingerzzii says:
lol
(^^,kLeV says:
bading! mahal mo ba ako? <---lakas trip! haha palibasa hindi nia maintindihan!
(^^,kLeV says:
sorryy!!!!!!! wrong one
badingerzzii says:
:P
badingerzzii says:
lol
badingerzzii says:
wt did tht mean
(^^,kLeV says:
erm..
badingerzzii says:
cum on
(^^,kLeV says:
sumthin lol
badingerzzii says:
tel me
(^^,kLeV says:
lol it just means "hey! u alryt?"
badingerzzii says:
suure <-----hahaha bading! di alam kng anu talaga ung tinanong ko.
(^^,kLeV says:
lol

nakakaasar! bket pa kasi ako nag "joke" (kunwari ako ay nagjojowk nang sabihin kong crush ko xa pero sa totoo lang oo nman talaga eh).... baka tuloy maniwala ang bading!... grrr >.<
at ngyon ngyon lamang, habang nasa school ako at nagsskive sa aking art lesson, haha, ako ay nag online sa msn.. nalaman kong tama ang hinala nmen ni ate ij na absent nga si peterpen ngyong araw na ito sapagkat ako ay muli niang kinausap at ang sabi ay "hey! y r u online? skiiver! lol :P" tpos nag-invisible ang bading kaya hindi na ako nkapag-reply sapagkat limited lamang ito dahil proxy site lamang (kasi nga ako ay nasa eskuwelahan).. absent si peterpen, bakit kaya? kasi may labnat according to ate ij na for some reason ay ikinatuwa ko?... naahhh... nako! baka hindi siya makapunta ng taekwondo ngyon! ay ay ay mali!! ayoko na pala sakanya! grrr >.<

so anong point sa post na to? the point is, AYOKO na! ngunit ang temptation ay malakas!

sino ang bading?

2007-02-02T15:28:00.000+01:00

pasulyap sulyap pa't kunwari'y patingin tingin sa akin.
di maintindihan ang ibig mong sabihin..
kung mayrong pag ibig ay ipagtapat mo na sa akin...
hindi nman kita sasagutin!! haha!

bading ka kasi eh! =P

im back!

2007-02-02T13:50:00.000+01:00

ok ok so finilter ang blogger sa school nmen, kasama nren ang bebo friendster myspace etc etc.. basically wala talaga magawa sa comp room for the last 2 weeks or so!! grrrr!! but then again ive managed to find a proxy website which allows me to access filtered websites such as the ones ive mentioned! haha! actually i just overheard someone screaming this proxy website so yea....

im back to blogtripping!!!

guilt

2007-01-23T17:41:00.000+01:00

although mejo nagsusungit paren ako sakanya these past few days, napapansin ko na hindi na naiilang saken si peterpen.. nilapitan niya kagad ako right after teaching the juniors, kahit na nandun pa si tito victor (na possibleng magsumbong kay dad kahit na sobrang liit lang na bagay na tulad neto).. the whole hi-5 thing with boths hands, tapos matagal pa bago niya i-let go.. and the whole hand shake after sparring na matagal nia ren i-let go.. and the tap-on-the-shoulder thing just before he say "seeyah klev"... slimey fella.. haha look who's talking!!

well the difference between us is that everything he does is just a friendly act, walang malisya or anything like that so ok lang.. pero ako! haha... ako.. may feelings ako sa kanya so para saken may malisya yon.. gets?

pero sa tingin ko nakakaramdam na siya na naiinis ako sakanya.. i know ive always wanted him to know what i feel.. but now i feel guilty about it.. kasi sobrang friendly nia paren saken kahit na sobrang sungit ko as in TOTAL SUNGIT.. he even tries to cheer me up with… and napag isip isip ko ren na it’s so unfair on peterpen kasi wala nman talaga siyang ginagawang masama saken… he doesn’t even know why im acting really strange these past few days… and ngyong alam ko nang he doesn’t fancy chantelle anymore, and the girl i thought he fancied is actually his “bezzie”.. everything i’ve said before, the whole “i hate you peterpen” thing, has changed.. again.. ewan ko ba.. ayoko na ngang umasa eh..

he even makes me feel important in his own little ways.. ewan ko kng nag iimagine lang ako or what.. like nung nagchat kami sa msn, a part of our conversation was like this:

klev: erm.. can i ask u sumthin?
Peterpen: yea sure.. wot is it?

(after a loooong pause)

klev: nevermind.. soz..
peterpen: oh go on..
klev: naahh.. sorry.. just forget about it..
peterpen: no.. please say it!
klev: its not important, nvm
peterpen: it is!... please say it...
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............

**at hindi niya talaga ako tinantanan.. i felt really guilty.. i didn’t really have anything to say...**

klev: lol its not important
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: it is!
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
peterpen: please..............
klev: ok ok!
Peterpen: go on then..
klev: erm.. **at this point i was thinking of sumthin to ask**
peterpen: please klev.. say it
klev: i was just gonna ask.. when’s your birthday? lol :P

**now that’s a plain daft excuse in a form of a plain daft question**

peterpen: lol
peterpen: 30th July 1991.. u?
klev: ahh.. ok tnx..
klev: mine’s 28th October 1990

and that’s how i knew his birthday.. argh!! kahit na sobrang petty feeling ko paren important ako sakanya hahaha.... ano kayang iniisip nia nung sinabi nia "it is" (important) at sobrang nag "please.... say it" pa siya... hmmm...

ok ok tama na nga.

lokohan

2007-01-22T13:32:00.000+01:00

nakakainis!! sooobra!! GIVE UP na nga dba? baket pa?!

grrrrr.... (>_<) nagchat nman kami sa msn nung weekend.. as expected, he asked me about the incident on friday lunchtime... nung pumunta siya sa school.. sabi nia tinatawag nia daw ako pero inignore ko daw siya... sumigaw pa daw siya at nag-wave (as in like biiig wave) saken pero hindi daw ako lumapit!! gosh! hindi pala ako nananaginip nung time na un, totoo pala na ginawa nia un! i knew it was him.. pero sabi ko, hindi ko siya nilapitan dahil hindi ko alam na siya pala un... i don't think he believed me though.. sabi pa nia "i wanted to talk to you.. you should've come.." pero wala nman siyang sasabihing importante saken na kelangan pa sa personal, otherwise he should've told me about it nung nagchat kami or nung nasa taekwondo kami (sa bagay sobrang sinungitan ko siya nung wednesday)... sabi ni peterpen tinawagan daw siya ni buwan nung lunchtime para pumunta sa school dahil bored daw siya.. so pumunta nnman ang bading... ang unang nakakita sakanya ay si ate ij dahil galing silang waitrose papasok ng school, nakita niya si peterpen kausap nga si buwan.. so i think nakita ren ni peterpen si ate ij and he knew that ate ij would tell me.. (and so she did) kaya nung lumabas ako at si ate ij, nakatingin na pala siya nun samen... kaya siguro alam nia na ako un... kaya siguro he didn't believe me.. sinabi ko kay natalie at kay ate ij as usual... sabi nia ate ij "ikaw bahala".. siya ang pessimist adviser ko... si natalie ang positibong side.. baket pa kasi niya ko kelangan kausapin eh meron na siyang kausap na iba (ang haliparot na si buwan) at kng meron man siyang importanteng sasabihin sana sinabi na niya... sabi ni natalie "perhaps he didnt have something important to tell you.. he didnt need to talk to you.. nor did he not need to talk to you because he was talking to someone else.. he just wanted to talk to YOU.. not because you are someone else but because you are YOU..." at natouch nman ako sa sinabi niang un... parang nakaka-uplift ng spirit... haha.. pero hindi na ako aasa... hayaan nalang mangyari kng anu mangyayari... i wouldnt wanna interfere or plan anything coz everytime i do, the opposite of what i want happens...

one of the random things na pinag usapan nmen ay tungkol sa kanilang dalawa ni chantelle (ung crush daw nia)... tinanong ko kng kamusta na sila, at kng sila na ba (ouch)...
sabi nia "im BORED of her.. i haven't seen her for like 4 weeks... so yea.. BORING.."

aba'y pinaglololoko ata ako ng bading na un ah... sabi nia last week pupunta siya sa bahay ni chantelle para mag "stay over" tpos ngyon sasabihin nia hindi sila nagkita ng 4 weeks? at bored na siya?? napakalabo! tpos ung akala kong bagong gusto nia na nakita ko sa "other half" niya sa bebo.. mali nnman ako... best friend niya lang pala un na babae... pero di ko lam kng meron siyang bagong "crush".. nakalagay kasi sa description nung babae: "x_BEZZIE_x"

>>(his name was editted and blurred for security purposes most likely for MY security haha)

kaya un... eto... binibigyan nia nnman ako ng dahilan upang wag mag give up... but naaahhh... mahirap nang umasa nnman... bahala na nga.

graphics

2007-01-21T00:44:00.000+01:00

had my camera on thursday to take some pics for my graphics coursework.. decided to take pics of my closest friends in school as well... and here they are:

top left - natalie *chillin*

top right - louise *camera shy*

bottom - louisa and amy

and here's what i'm supposed to doing:

MY GRAPHICS COURSEWORK!!

but i've been doin it today for like 4 straight hours so im quite proud of myself hehe..

keep it up klev *tap on the shoulder*

his birthday

2007-01-19T22:31:00.000+01:00

OMG!! he's younger than me!!! 30th July 1991 - that's his birthday!... akala ko mas matanda siya saken ng one year, hindi pala!! waaahhhh!! pano nalang ung mga sinabi ko dati "im never gonna like someone younger than me"... kinaen ko lahat! i cant believe i have these weird feelings for someone younger than me... nung nalaman ko un parang hindi ako makapaniwala... at ngayon bale wala na lahat nung sinabi ko dati... coz "his" age doesn't matter to me anymore.. besides, months lang nman ang gap nmen eh... i still feel the same..

irony of life

2007-01-19T13:00:00.000+01:00

peterpen didn't attend taekwondo last night... neither did ate giselle who said she would...

i came 10 minutes late for the lesson and was really pissd off..
but then eventually i realised that i could't do anything about dad being late coz he works in Basingstoke and couldn't just fly his way home, if that makes sense.. i was so inconsiderate.

as i was sad, disappointed, angry, i gave all my effort and did all the excersises to a hundred percent power and strength... focused on the task and did well on the sparring.. Mr. Houston said "good techniques"..

i decided that i'd give up on peterpen.. but when i entered the boxing gym, the first thing i did was to see whether he was actually there... i didn't mean to do that.. it just seemed like a reflex reaction..

i wondered why he wasn't there.. might be because this week is their mock exams week.. he might be ill - but peterpen? ill? naaahhh... - maybe he went somewhere else.. probably to a party, as he is definitely a 'party guy'.. or might be that he simply couldn't be bothered to do taekwondo.. but naah.. he's a 'martial arts enthusiast' he couldn't bare to do that.. i missed him... but why?? didn't i give up on him?? grrrr....... (>_<) ......

NOW!
ate ivy just came in and said peterpen is outside.. at this very moment.. talking to buwan... at first i didn't believe her... but she said she was telling the truth.. i had this voice inside me, this urge, saying i should go and see if it's true.. it was my evil twin.. she wanted to see him but my brain didnt give her permission.. after a few seconds, evil twin didn't stop annoying me so i went to the form room and looked outside through the window.. i didnt see anything... but i fixed my hair and texted ate ivy "wala nman xa eh bading ka".. then i went back to the computer room, where i am now..

but then ate ivy came for the second time saying he is actually there... so i went outside the maths building which is a few metres away from the gate... i saw him.. with his bike.. he was actually there, talking to buwan and someone else.. i turned around coz i didnt want him to see me... ate ivy left me so i decided just to go back and continue with my blogging.. but while i was holding the door, which had a transparent glass, i had a final glimpse of him and buwan... but he shouted "klev!!!".. i think he even waved at me but im not so sure... i didnt wanna talk to him and buwan so i just ignored him...

and here i am now.. how ironic. i was just writing about how i missed him although i said i am giving up... then now, there he is.. outside... talking to buwan...

deadma

2007-01-18T13:33:00.000+01:00

kahapon ay wednesday.. grabe.. sobrang nakakapagod... nakakastress.. lahat ng inis ko kay peterpen ay ibinuhos ko sa badminton matches nmen, kaya nanalo ako sa bawat game na aking nilaro.. masyado daw akong agresibo at bayolente.. sabi nga ni natalie "klev, chill out!!"..

hindi na kami nagkikita pag wednesdays dahil nagbago na ang schedule sa taekwondo.. mas maaga na ang pasok ko 5:30pm-6:15pm, at pagkatapos ng lesson nmen ay lesson nila peterpen.. hindi na ko umaasa... na makikita ko siya.. at makakausap..

pero as usual.. pag hindi ako umaasa saka nangyayari ang gusto kong mangyari.. saka sya sumusulpot at gumagawa ng kung anu ano para umasa nnman ako.. pero this time around, tama na.. pahinga na muna si hearty kasi masyado na daw siyang pagod umasa at masaktan.. kaya pinag-holiday ko muna sya..

kahapon ay dumating si peterpen sa klase nmen.. 30 minutes siyang maaga para sa klase nila... baket kaya? eh datirati nman, nung magkasama pa kami sa klase pag wednesday parati syang late.. so umupo siya sa gilid, sa may tapat ko.. meron siyang hawak na hindi ko mawari kung ano.. mukang camera na PSP na ewan.. pero sa tuwing lilingon ako sa direksyon niya, nakatapat saken ung hawak niya na parang nakatingin siya saken gamit un..

itinuro na saken ang bago kong pattern, "Dan-gun".. pero dahil kelangan din matuto ng bagong pattern ung nagtuturo saken, pinapalitan siya ni Mr. Houston kay peterpen, na nakaupo sa gilid.. kinabahan ako, hindi ko alam kung bakit.. nang lumalapit siya saken, nakangiti siya at nag hello.. pero hindi ako ngumiti o nag-hello sakanya.. tumingin ako sa harap at nag-"chunbi" position lang ako ("ready" position)... nang tinatanong niya ung iba kong kasama kung hanggang saan na ung naituturo samen, sumagot sila.. ako, hindi.. kasi nga nman sumagot na sila... naka-"chunbi" position pren ako.. nang hindi ako sumagot, tumahimik silang lahat.. hinihintay kasi ni peterpen ung sagot ko... hindi paren ako sumagot hanggang sinabi niyang "kleeevv..." na parang naglalambing ang tono ng pananalita... naka-smile siya, as usual.. pero sumagot lang ako at hindi ngumiti... kinarir ko lahat ng pinagawa saken.. ako ung ginagawa niyang example, hindi ko alam kung bakit... tapos msyado niya akong kinokorek.. kahit na mababa ng 1 cm lang ang kamay ko, hinawakan niya at inusog niya pren.. parang nagpapapansin.. pero wala.. deadma lang.. seryoso ako buong lesson.. hindi ako nakipag-usap sakanya o nakipagbiruan... walalang... i treated him like an instructor... i didn't even say "bye".. siguro nman, sana naman, nakaramdam na siya..

2007-01-17T09:44:00.000+01:00

napaka insensitive!
napaka labo!
anu ba talagang gusto mo?
pinapaasa mo lang ako!
last time we had the same conversation sabi mo wala kang gusto..
the second time around, sabi mo gusto mo si chantelle yeung...
pero ngyon, iba nnman ang gusto mo??
anu un, parang flavour of the week na pwde mong palit-palitan?
pinaglalaruan mo ata ako eh!
pinaglalaruan mo lang ang feelings ko!

wala na...

i give up..

ayoko nang umasa
at paulit-ulit na masaktan...

tama na..

sobra ka na eh...

~~i love you~~... i hate you peterpen!

(>_<)

2007-01-16T20:48:00.000+01:00

ayoko na.. i give up..

quit playing games with my heart

2007-01-16T13:32:00.000+01:00

napakalabo talaga nia.. ewan ko ba.. kung kelan sobrang nag gigive up na ko sa kanya, saka nman siya gagawa ng dahilan para umasa ako at hindi mag give up... para siyang bahay na merong thermostat, na kapag nag iincrease o nag dedecrease ang hope level ko sa optimum level, meron siyang ginagawang effect para maibalik sa normal.. kumbaga sa body processes siya ay homeostasis.. he maintains the normal hope level of kleveleine.. arrrghh!!! masisira ang ulo ko dito sa kakaisip!

last night was monday - taekwondo night.. andun xa syempre.. pagdating ko umupo ako sa tapat nila ni epal dahil nagtuturo sila ng mga juniors.. nag "hi" saken si epal tpos tumingin din si peterpen at xmpre nag "hi" ren... nung lesson, hindi ko sinasadyang maging ka-row siya, hence, siya ay naging ka-group ko sa warm up exercise.. after my turn, nung pabalik na ako ng line, parang nag-ooffer siya saken ng "hi-5" but i ran to the opposite side so siya nman parang napahiya kaya binaba nlang nia ung hand nia.. after his turn, he stood by me and talked to me.. napaka bango nga nia eh kahit pawisin.. super turn on.. nag usap kami na parang normal lang.. na parang walang nangyari.. after the warm up, pinagawa kami ng maraming exercises.. first stop, sparring.. sabi "pair off with a partner".. nakatingin siya saken pero lumingon ako sa iba so lumapit si emma saken at siya nlang nging partner ko.. then after nung first round ng sparring sbi mkpagpartner nman daw sa iba.. tumingin ako sknya, nkitingin ulit sya skn pero katabi ko si zeb kaya siya nlang naging partner ko.. third time, lumapit na talaga siya skn... i saw him walking towards me so tumingin ulit ako sa iba, pero he shouted "klev!" kaya eun.. kami naging mag partner.. nagsparring kami, and this time around, nag ingat na ako para hindi ko siya matamaan "dun sa masakit".. haha kasi twice ko na siya natatamaan "dun sa masakit" eh LOL.. after sparring, break.. he talked to me.. then next exercise needed a group of 3.. nakita ko si epal at si peterpen parehong nakatingin skn.. since magkatabi na sila, niyaya ni epal si peterpen para maging ka-group.. then tinawag nila ko as in they shouted "klev! come with us!".. palapit na ako pero lumapit sknila si sam na wala pang ka-group.. so umalis nalang ulit ako at naghanap ng ibang group.. unexpetedly, pinaalis nila si sam at tinawag ulit nila ako para magjoin sa group nila.. flattered naman ako hehe... ang cute nga nung exercise nmen eh, nagkukulitan nnman kami ni peterpen at parang na-out-of-place nnmam si epal haha.. then we did some technical stuff and line works.. after that, nagpatterns kami.. pinauna ung first two rows na magperform ng pattern.. i was at the back so i talked to emma whilst waiting for my turn.. pero at the same time i was watching him perform his pattern and i was just gob-smacked.. as usual, i admired him for being sooo amazing.. after their turn, lumapit siya skn and he talked to me.. i didnt notice emma go and mr. houston say that we should do our patterns.. syempre dahil na kay peterpen ung buong focus ko hehe... whilst we were talking, lumapit si mr houston at tinanong kng bakit hindi ako nagpapattern haha!! i just kinda ignored him and carried on talking to peterpen.. we were talking about how gay epal was.. haha.. sabi ni peterpen ang sama daw ng tingin ni epal sakanya.. sabi ko nman, kasi nga crush ka nia haha... then we were just laughing.. after the taekwondo lesson he was packing up, eh magkahiwalay ung bag nmen so we didnt really talk... then when i was about to go, i decided to 'read the bulletin board', which was just by the door... or in klev's term, wait for peterpen... so i did... he was about to leave but when he saw me he decided to 'read the bulletin board' as well... in klev's term, wait for me too... although nandon na si erpats sa labas naghihintay sknya, nkipag usap pren siya skn... then sabay kami lumabas ng pinto.. pero nakita ko si dad papalapit so humiwalay na ako sakanya... kahit na malayo na ako, sumigaw paren siya "seeyah klev!" so ako nman xmpre nag bye ren ako... nung nasa car na ako, nakita ko siya nakatingin saken... then kumaway siya saken at nag bye.... haiii.... sobrang naguguluhan na talaga ako sakanya.. di ko lam kung ano ba tlg dapat kong isipin.. parang lahat nung sinabi nia, about his crush and all that crap, ay kasinungalingan... parang pinagseselos nia ako.. ewan ko ba.. lahat ng ginagawa nia kelangan ko pang i-analise ng mabuti upang lubusang maunawaan ang nais niyang iparating... (?_?)

and because of what happened last night, nag-increase nnman ang hope level ko kahit papano... as a result, mejo naging hyper ako ngyong araw na ito.. "you're such a giggler today" sabi ng mga classmates ko... hehe (^^,) tpos ung discussion pa nmen about sa mga teachers na naka-thong! hahaha!! makes me laugh!

GLINT OF HOPE GONE!

2007-01-15T13:01:00.000+01:00

mood:

last week all Peterpen did was to make me believe that there is some hope that he might like me too... from my previous blogs, he's everything i talk i about... my feelings were obviously up to the highest level of happiness but then... comes Saturday and everything's vanished into thin-air.. HOPE LEVEL depreciated from 100% to the current 0.1% of him liking me back... why?.. i'll tell you why...

Saturday afternoon, we talked on MSN... first it started off fine.. he was still doin his usual job of makin me kilig to the maxx.. he asked if i have a webcam, which i do not possess due to the fact that my parents are THAT strict.. but i said "yea" then he wanted to see me so i said "not in this computer.." but he asked me to get it, said "soz i cudnt be bothered" and if ever i had one i wudnt really want him to see me anyway.... but he was like "pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeeee!!!!!" as in begging me.... so i just said "do u wanna see a monster? lol" then he replied "NOT FUNNY!!!"... ok so that was a bit of a compliment for me... eventualy he stopped...

then he went on (again) about our crushes... he said Scott a.k.a. 'epal' told him he fancies me and of course i was like no way!.. then he still asked me who i fancy and of course i didnt tell him.. he's the one person i couldn't tell for obvious reasons!! then he was like "i'd tell everyone in our taekwondo class that u fancy scott if u dont tell me who u fancy".. and so i went "go on then.. just u try and i'll never ever talk to u again... NEVER, i say!"... he thot i was jokin he said "FINE!" and i said "FINE!! i mean it...".. i really meant it... after a few seconds of being idle he said "ok sorry. i wont tell anyone..." i was like "good"... but still he didnt stop askin me.... he even said "i wont make u do harder kicks if u tell me"... i said "just make me do harder kicks, i dont mind" haha... he asked me why i wont tell him (duuuurrrh!!!).. i said "well u wudnt tell me hu u fancy, wud u?? its just like that!".. then he said "ok i'll tell u who i fancy... i fancy Chantelle Yeung.. now, tell me yours" (take note: last time we had this conversation he said he didnt fancy anyone) and soooo i was quite shocked and sooo disappointed... so i kind of deflected the question by asking "then why dont u ask her out? i bet she fancies u too..." he said he was stayin over HER house that night... then i said i gotta go and signed off... OUCH!!! how insensitive could he fckn be??!!! why wouldnt he notice my feelings for him? is it me? might not be obvious that i like him but i could say the same thing to him.. i dont know whteher he only sees me as a friend.. he doesnt make it clear.. he says everyone could read him like a book, but thats just a lie...! i couldnt! im soooo confused... ~~sometimes~~ most of the time whenever im with him he gives the impression that he likes me more than a friend... but now ive realised that everything was just a friendly act.. he was just being friendly as usual.. pleasing everybody around him... yes, he is 'all that'... as i have described him, close to perfection.... but i didnt realise that it hurts this much just to ~~love~~ like him...

Tell me now

2007-01-12T15:18:00.000+01:00

i love to hurt you baby
i love to see you so sad
i want to hear you sayin please

i love to see you bleedin
i want to see you broken because of me
i want you down on your knees

coz it's the only thing that makes me realise
that there is somethin in your heart that you hide
you don't talk about it so i dont know
but i wanna hear it so baby please..

tell me now if you really love me
tell me now if you really need me
tell me now
tell me now coz im confused
tell me now coz my heart is breakin
tell me now coz i wont stop askin
tell me now
tell me now
coz i really really wanna know

i love to hurt you baby
i want to see you everythin wrong
i wanna see teardrops in your eyes

i wanna see you bleedin
i wanna see you cryin
i want you down on your knees

coz it's the only thing that makes me realise
that there is somethin in your heart that you hide
you don't talk about it so i really dont know
but i wanna hear it so baby please..

tell me now if you really love me
tell me now if you really need me
tell me now
tell me now coz im confused
tell me now coz my heart is breakin
tell me now coz i wont stop askin
tell me
tell me
coz i really really wanna know

i wanna see you walkin away
just wanna break it until i hear you say..

so tell me now if you really love me
if you need me
if you want me

tell me now coz my heart is breakin
wont stop askin
coz i really really wanna know..

MOMENTS

2007-01-12T11:24:00.000+01:00

grabe na ito!! to the highest level of KILIGNESS nnman ako last night! haha!! because ate ivy and ate giselle doesnt attend taekwondo lessons anymore, coz apparently they're "busy", peterpen and i are getting even closer.. as in hindi na xa naiilang saken and we get more time to chat to each other.. im not saying na ayoko sila ate ij and ate gh pumunta.. its just that.. pag nandon sila, hindi lumalapit si peterpen.. parang naiilang and nahihiya... but oh well... last night was soooo great!!! and of course soooo tiring!! as in grabe ung mga exercises na pinagawa samen lalo na ung 10-minute split nmen kay mr. chick!! grrrr (>.<) pero lahat ng pagod at sakit ay nawawala dahil kay peterpen hahaha!!.. corny! anyways... last night i came about 10 minutes before the time.. pag pasok ko palang ng boxing gym nakita ko kagad si peterpen nakatingin saken.. so i kinda looked away.. but then i saw there wasn't any space left for me to sit, but there beside him!... kasi nman sa boxing gym, isang mahabang chair lang sa left side.. then i noticed wala siya katabi and he wasnt talking to anyone, which is quite a shock.. he was alone.. and also kinda sad.. i didnt wanna repeat what i did before, or better yet did NOT do before... so i went and talked to him and sat beside him... i tried to cheer him up.. papalapit palang ako nakatingin na ako sakanya at nakatingin ren xa saken, na parang mejo surprised ung expression nia kasi first time ever kong tumabi sa kanya, normally siya ung lumalapit saken.. and i was also quite suprised about myself dahil that time parang hindi ako nahiya or nailang sakanya.. so i took my coat off and when i was about to switch my ipod off, he grabbed it... sakto i was listening to the song "if we fall in love"!! hahaha!!.. then he looked at me after seeing the title haha tpos naghanap na xa ng ibang songs.. naalala ko na meron pala siyang photo dun sa ipod ko so i sat beside him to see kung ano ung mga tinitingnan nia sa ipod ko.. nung tinapat nia sa "photos" section i was so worried that he would see his pic so i sort of prepared my hand by the ipod so in case he opens it i would easily grab the ipod.. i think he noticed that i didnt want him to open the "photos" section so he went back to see and hear all the songs.. then nilagay nia ung isang earphone sa left ear ko and he moved even closer to me! we were talking, laughing and joking about loads of stuff.. mostly from my ipod.. he told me those songs that he liked.. and ung pinaka like nia dun sa ipod ko ung "a thousand miles".. he said it's one of his all-time favourite songs.. then we listened to the WHOLE song together.. un lang ung song na tinapos nmen... he was even singing! haha! but i should say, his voice was good... haii... (~~,) feeling ko tuloy ako ung kinakantahan nia nun haha!!... i asked him "do you sing?" he said "im learning".... i remember i told him i was in the choir and i already asked him the same question before but he said he doesnt sing... hmmm... wonder what made him want to learn how to sing hehe (^^,)

we talked about quite alot of things... like him being grade 5 in piano. playing the guitar really well (i dont know his grade). songs that he could play on the piano and guitar.... his favourite songs... ahh basta madami pang iba... whilst we were talking and laughing, i could see epal looking at us! haha!

our little chat and soundtrip ended when our taekwondo lesson started.. unfortunately he wasnt my partner =(
although he was looking at me, the look that says 'be my partner' haha, pero ang bading ko nman kasi nakatingin ako sa iba kunwari.. even though the truth was in the corner of my eyes i was lookin at him..

ang daming exercises na pinagawa samen as in walang techinical stuff.. Mr Houston said it was to burn off all the turkey from Christmas haha so it was REALLY HARD as in!! and after the 10-minute split from Mr Chick we did a kicking exercise where we needed to kick the punching bag hanging from the ceiling!! LOL!! i had absolutely no energy left i thought i was gonna fall over!! pero ok lang kasi si peterpen nman ang nagbibigay saken ng energy haha!! as in all the pain and fatigue were overwhelmed by his presence! haha!! he was even encouraging me... for the kicking exercise, he was in my row.. as usual, as he kicked the punching bag, i was so impressed.. as in napakalakas ng sipa nia ung napakabigat na punching bag ay tumitilapon!! he made it look really easy... but when it was my go to kick i realised how heavy the punching bag was!! i admired him even more... when i got to the end of the row, where he was, he said "good kick!" and then offered a Hi-5 on one hand... so we did a Hi-5.. pero nung binaba ko na ung kamay ko, nakahawak paren xa saken!! OMG!! and it lasted for quite a while before he let go of my hand!! hahaha!! i was encouraged so i kicked even harder and for the second time he offered me a Hi-5 pero this time, with both of his hands!!!!! hahaha!! nung nakipag Hi-5 ako my hands were quite loose (i.e. i wasnt holding on that tight)... pero siya!! siya!! napakahigpit ng hawak nia saken!! OMG! then when we dropped our hands he was still holding on!! haha!! and that was even longer than the first one! as in he was holding my two hands for a looooong time (xmpre mabilis ang takbo ng oras sa mundo ko e!) for me it was like 10 hours na!! hahaha!! suuuuper total kiligness nnman ako... he just let go of my hands when he turned around to kick.. and in between breaks, everytime we had a chance to talk, we did.. kahit na sobrang short talk lang.. after that round he said "i think i just saw your dad coming"... so THE END na ng moments nmen! haha! but although dad and mum came, we were still talking to each other pero xmpre ako ay mejo naghinayhinay na kaya nagconcentrate nlang ako sa aking kicks.. tpos at the end of the lesson he was standing beside dad.. he said "seeyah klev".. when i came to greet dad with a kiss on the cheek he looked at me... and then umalis na kami... our car was parked beside peterpen's then nakita ko ung mum nia nakatingin saken at naka-smile.. haha... she knows me coz they've already given me a lift.. peterpen's dad also knows me for the same reason!!... and then i got home with that big fat permanent smile on my face.. which is actually still here up to this very moment... <3

GLINT OF HOPE!!

2007-01-09T15:36:00.001+01:00

BITIN GRABE!! We soooo should have more holidays!! And less school work!! Gosh im soooo stressed out!! Take note it’s just our third day back to school from our Christmas holidays!! Grabe i feel like im gonna die in any second! Anyways, got little time to do some blogging so here i go….

christmas holidays have been alright.. after the midnight mass which we have attended as a family, we've spent our noche buena at ate karen’s new house, along with other family friends: ate erlie & kuya bob, ate june & kuya aris, and kya francis with his bf - who is actually really totally gorgeous! grabe!! inggit ako kay kuya francis haha.. here's a picture of 'em:

o dba?! anyways, back to my blog..
got quite a lot of presents and ALOT of christmas cards from friends and family.. yea i was satisfied lol coz i realised my only Christmas wish was too expensive for a Christmas gift, a laptop.. so i didnt tell anyone lol. and of course the one that’s so impossible… ahuh! for those of you who know me you probably guessed it right! Peterpen… yer… anyways, new year wasn’t any more exciting than Christmas eve.. went to church then to a party then went back home to spend new year’s eve and media noche with my family..

before the hols i said i was gonna do LOADS of work!!!! i.e. my graphics, english, biology and physics… all of which are courseworks btw… but naaahhh!! Couldn’t be asked to do them… did some of my biology and english a day before we went back to school!! haha.. and now ive finished my english biology and physics!! However!!! I still haven’t got any sort of progress on my graphics coursework!! And now what??! Im screwed, i am!! Grrrr……. I always leave my graphics last.. so now, my "new year’s resolution" is to do LOADS of graphics!! And keep updated with my gantt chart which i haven’t actually made use of since the start of the course…

***(nuisance)
and now natalie’s bugging me again!! Grrr.. and after natalie’s gone, now cherise is coming… OMG here she iss!!!

….And she left just before the bell!! Now i have to contine writing this blog at break!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr >.< *** ….sooooo! after escaping from the constant annoyance and buggering that Natalie and cherise are causing! Here i go again.. anyways, i am actually fckd up with all these courseworks, and not to mention with my art cw on the way.. i have to keep up with all my deadlines!! time's really running toooo fast i gotta catch up!! HOWEVER, everything seems sooo perfect and bright after monday night! Haha!!!.. oh btw, i now have my Taekwondo lessons every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday coz they had all those sorts of problems with the Salisbury college so now were gonna do it in the boxing gym… ehem! Yer of course peterpen was there last night.. i was 10 minutes late for the TKD lesson coz we didn’t quite find the place.. but he immediately talked to me when we had a short break! Hehe… after i have received my new belt and my certificate with credit award, he congratulated me.. well, everyone did.. he wasn’t my partner that nigh =( but after that TKD lesson, i got home and ate pasta and ferrero rocher (thanks to the Santos family), and did my courseworkS.. i wasn’t quite sure what to do for some bits on my physics so i decided to sign in on MSN cz i knew my classmate would be there.. and i was right… but it wasn’t just her! haha surprise surprise!! Peterpen was also online! Ahuh! And after asking my classmate about the coursework, i then got on with another kind of “work” hahaha!! Called “stalking” thanks to my instructor, ate ivy!! Haha!... and so we did chat.. but i went offline so that no one would annoy me, i.e. just to get rid of Natalie… then he asked me why i was on “appear offline” or for YMers “invisible”… then he went invisible as well! Haha! Asked him why and he said: “so that i wouldn’t have to chat with someone i don’t wanna talk to”…. ahuh!!!! I was like what are u trying to say mah darling! haha!... then we talked about loads of stuff!!.. even talked about ate ivy! haha sorry ate i just kinda ran out of topic!! anyways! The highlight is!!..... Tentededen!! Well i saw his pic was some celeb girl on bikini so i changed my pic to Jeremy Sumpter’s!! haha! here it is:

but because the pic was a portrait one, the bit where it says "klev's property" didnt show up!! oh well... then he asked who the guy in the pic was... at first i didn’t tell him! haha techniques! to see if he actually is that manhid or if there's a glint of hope that he might actually feel something for me!... then he was like “is he your boyfriend?” hahaha!! I was pissin myself!!! grabe! but he didnt stop until he knew who that guy was so eventually i told him it was Jeremy Sumpter!! followed by "me? boyfriend?? haha! i dont have one!" and he was sooo shocked he even put a shocked smiley and said: "whaaaat?? no way!!" haha!! i said: "yea im tellin the truth.. i dont have one.. durrrh!" he asked me "how come" hahaha! i didnt know what to say so i just wrote "LOL" haha... then he asked me "do you fancy someone then??" hahahaha" OMG this is it!! i was in TOTAL KILIGNESS!! i said: "yer..." knowin he'd ask a follow up question.. and then he did! he asked who i fancy, i said "secret! im not tellin you!! why? are you gonna tell me yours?! LOL" hahaha i didnt expect he would though... he replied "naah i dont fancy anyone"... hahaha i was like course not.. he just didnt wanna tell me who it was... or if that was true, which i dont think it is, then he's a TOTAL MANHID!!... so i said: "see! you wouldnt tell me, would you!" but then he still insisted that question WHO i fancy!! course i didnt tell him! so he went on again about HOW COME i didnt have a boyfriend!! grrrrrrr!!! i was thinkin: well i wouldnt tell you who i fancy coz durrrh it is YOU!! and i dont have a boyfriend coz YOU are so MANHID, LABO, and TORPE!!

haaiiiiii...... well at least after those 2 hours of chattin' i realised that there was some GLINT OF HOPE!! ~~,

don't plan it.. don't expect.. then, he'll come

2006-12-20T13:03:00.000+01:00

these past few days sobrang naggigive up na talaga ako.. slowly.. slowly each day.. ive been thinkin he just probably see me as a friend.. and nothing more than that.. napaka weird ng mga kinikilos nia.. parang iniiwasan nia ko.. pero maraming beses ko na xa nahuhuling nakatingin saken, like he wanna talk to me.. like he wanna say something... pero hindi natutuloy.. lagi nalang.. iniiwas na lang nia ang tingin nia saken whenever i see him looking at me..

im sooo confused.. i dont know what's up with him.. i dont know what's wrong.. why he's acting soo weird lately.. napakalabo nia nman.. kung friend lang ang tingin nia saken bket nia ko iniiwasan?.. yea kapalness ko parang magfeeling.. haha. fine. say whatever you want.. pero ganun ung nafifeel ko eh.. pero naiisip ko ren, if he likes me more than a friend, bket di nlang nia sabihin?.. so maybe he doesn't.. maybe he's just being friendly, as usual... ah ewan.. labo! sobrang labo!!

last night was the big event for some, Snowball.. especially for 'lovers'.. for students in our school, grammar school for girls, and students in Bishops, grammar school for boys.. guaranteed pupunta halos lahat ng taga SWGS and BISHOPS, xmpre.. chance na nila... to dance and have fun with their so-called 'lover'.. at ang lola mo nagmukmok.. i didn't go.. why should i, anyway?.. instead i went to taekwondo.. nagmukmok pren ako kasi wala sila ate ij at ate giselle so i didnt have anyone to talk to.. at for sure wala ren si peterpen dahil pupunta xa sa snowball.. impossibleng hindi... impossibleng piliin nia ang taekwondo kaysa snowball.. sobrang impossible lalo na pag may girlfriend xa.. and one more thing, it was tuesday yesterday.. he doesn't normally go to taekwondo on tuesdays.. so i asked for a sign.. (yea, soo sad, i know)... i said to myself, if he goes to taekwondo and talk to me rather than attend Snowball and flirt with soo many girls... that means, there's some glint of hope that he might like me more than a friend... i thought,, for sure i already know the answer to that.. NO!! of course he's not coming..

but guess what?? he did turn up!!.. napaka bading talaga! he comes when least expected!.. haha... but that was goood.. sooo yodelly good! so i had that cheeky smile all throughout taekwondo.. at naging ka-group ko pa xa.. nagkukulitan nnman kami, like we did before.. parang back to normal na nga eh.. sobrang funny and sweet na ulit nia.. he even hugged me! haha!! well kasi hindi ko ginawa ung magsusuot ng christmas suit then gawin ung highest patten... tpos ayoko ren gawin ung 'oh no' task na kabadingan ni ma'am houston (where you do a press-up, stand, and jump and shout 'oh no'.. you do it 10 times!).. he's done it, of course, he's the leader as usual.. then sabi ko ayoko.. so i turned around, he was behind me, then he hugged me.. haha!!.. he was trying to stop me from getting away.. tpos ang kulit nmen sobra.. ayoko pren gawin so pinipilit nia ko, kapag umaalis ako hinaharangan nia then hina hug nia ko! haha!! ilang beses ko ren ginawa un! pang aabuso! slimey fella! mwahaha! grabe! i was soo happy.. we were talking and laughing.. basically having fun.. then he said "i wish i had a camera so that i could take a picture of you"... i was like, just ask for it haha!.. and last night was really great!!... however i didn't expect it to be our last taekwondo lesson... i was expecting we'll break up on thrusday pero hindi.. so hindi ko tuloy nabigay ung christmas card ko skanya.. tsk tsk.. sayang ung card! haha!.. saka matagal tagal ko ren xang hindi makikita... baka after new year pa kami ulit magkita.. but oh well, other than that, i was sooo yodelly happy and kilig last night!! haha! ^^,

17th Dec 2006 - Sunday - FILIPINO CHRISTMAS PARTY

2006-12-19T13:37:00.000+01:00

sunday was such great fun!! we had a filipino christmas party and almost all the filipinos in Salisbury, UK attended.. even those on duty made sure they'd drop off before or after their shift.. of course apart from those ones whom we call 'KJ' or 'Kill-Joy' ehem!! hint hint ate ij and ate giselle! hehe!!.. oh well, they've missed so much! there were so many pinoy foods.. mmmm... makes me even more hungry.. and there was a little programme where some of them sang and danced... it was so funny.. haha.. and of course, how could i forget the disco after all those.. haha!! i was actually suprised that i've managed to dance like there's no one in the room.. and even more surprised when dad got mum to dance with him on the dance floor! OMG!! i couldn't bare to miss that so i captured their moment with the help of my beloved digital camera.. haaayyy.. everything was perfect.. apart from the last part when i just sat down because they were playing slow music (a.k.a. sweet) intended for married couples, lovers, etc. i didnt have a partner.. everyone did.. i was sooo left out.. if ate ij was there, i could've at least danced with her and imagined she was peterpen! and she could've imagined i was 2 or 3 or heechul or hang kyung, or kibum or whoever she fancies! haha yea i know.. how sad. but oh well.. that was the best party so far..

SUCCESS is never final and FAILURE never fatal... it's COURAGE that counts...

2006-12-15T11:28:00.000+01:00

**failed-passed-credit-distinction**
after gaining 2 distinctions in a row, last night i passed my taekwondo grading and was awarded a credit.. it was ok, for me. but just OK.. on the way home i was rehearsing what i was gonna tell my parents.. i didn't know how to say it.. "i was disappointed. and surely they would be." i was thinkin.. so i got home, ate some spaghetti as i was totally knacked after using up all my strength and power to, from, and during the grading (take note: taekwondo grading 5.00 pm straight after school, not to mention how i get to and from school-i walk).. then my parents got home, i heard how they were praising and patronising my little sister, makee, as they have just been to her school programme.. after all the praises, they eventually asked how my grading went, expecting me to say ive got another distinction award.. well unfortunately, i didnt.. told them i got a credit, and no one else got a distinction.. my parents acted as expected.. in shock, and of course, disappointed.. i could see. anyone can tell.. dad said "bakit credit lang?".. i didnt answer.. tears formed behind my eyes but of course, i should hide it.. so half-way through eating my spaghetti, i went to the toilet to wipe those freakin tears away.. i wouldn't want them to see me crying.. got back then my brother, justin, walked past.. he asked dad "why is ate crying?".. haha. that time, i was still holdin back my tears, controlling myself.. but when dad stared at me and asked me what's wrong, i lost control.. i couldn't help but cry.. i was such a failure.. i could've done better.. could've got that distinction.. however, suprisingly, for the first time my dad came up to comfort me and told me "it's alright.. im still proud of you.. for me, you're the best.." i felt better.. much much better.. those words were all i needed..

this morning i was still thinkin about that grading.. i even ignored peterpen when i walked past him on my way to school (now that was a shock).. all my friends noticed how 'grumpy' i was.. we had a free lesson so we played the game "pictionary".. my friends thought it was a good idea as i am an 'arty' person.. i could see they were trying so hard to cheer me up.. and i really appreciated it.. eventually i forgot about the grading, forgot about my grumpyness, and felt alot better..

looking back, i realised how other people really care about me.. though, almost all of them realy don't show it.. before, i thought all my efforts were just useless coz no one appreciated them.. but i was wrong..

getting '2nd best' or less than a distinction doesn't mean im rubbish.. and it doesnt stop me from doing taekwondo and aiming high... indeed i have high expections and much disappointment was the result.. but im just gonna do my best, accept all compliments, or otherwise, and know that SUCCESS is never final and FAILURE is never fatal.. it's the COURAGE that counts..

i want everything..and nothing at the same time

2006-12-14T13:31:00.000+01:00

maybe i should do something constructive.. you know. like courseworks and stuff.. but my evil twin says "isn't this constructive?" and im bound to believe her.. well.. im beginning to think this actually is helpful.. for me. of course. "quite a secretive person" as natalie had defined me.. someone who has this happy, joyful, and crazy mask around her friends... of course, why would i wanna spoil the fun?..

today ive had these mixed emotions.. early in the morning, i was sad.. sad about what's happening these past few days.. everytime i feel happy for a day, or more precisely, for an hour, happiness doesn't wanna stay with me.. it doesn't linger even for at least 2 days or so..

last week, on wednesday, the word "happy" isn't enough to describe how i was feeling.. just the two of us.. --of course epal plays his normal job being an epal so he was still in the scene.. but peterpen was my partner.. --i chose him, obviously, over epal (who seems to have this habit of turning around and looking at me everytime my taekwondo instructor says "pair off with a partner").. during that 45 minute-lesson, i could'nt erase that smile on my face. i really enjoyed working and having a conversation with him.. he was even supposed to "knock me down" the time i kicked him, coz that's what our taekwondo instructor told us to do as an exercise.. but guess what? he didnt. being a gentleman comes naturally.. unlike others who fake it just for you to like them.. instead, he held my hand, but i still fell though.. he pulled me and hugged me, and so we fell together. haha.. we were just laughing and having fun without minding the world around us.. without being concerned about other people... literally, having a world of our own.

but the next day was very much different.. suprisingly, he came in early.. he sat down, and looked as if the earth has fallen on him.. he was so sad. so down. i didnt know what to do.. i really wanted to sit beside him and ask what's wrong.. i guess i would've done that if only tito victor and his wife wasnt there.. the whole of the lesson he was so quiet.. he tried to make a joke, but still, it was obvious that he was really sad, and he was just trying to look happy by putting on that smile, which at that time was trully fake.. until now, i really feel bad.

since then, i haven't talked to him properly.. haven't had any conversation like we did before... i dont know what's wrong.. it seems like he's avoiding me.. but then when he eventually talks to me, i could honestly feel that he wants to talk to me.. everyday, when i walk to school with ate ivy, i walk past him.. he used to look at me, and only me (hehe sorry ate ivy), and flaunt that killer smile of his.. but now it has changed.. whenever i walk past him, he's just looking down, at the floor, like he doesn't want me to see his face..

this morning i was trying to figure out why im feelin this way.. tried to figure out where the boundaries between like and love are... then i had my drama lesson 1st thing.. and suprisingly i really did enjoy it and for a moment i forgot my sadness.. thanks to our "invisble theatre" which happened at break time.. but now it's all back (with the help of the senti song im listenin to at this very moment).. mixed with anxiety and a pinch of excitement for my taekwondo grading tonight.. i really dunno what im supposed to feel...

blogtripping

2006-12-13T15:30:00.000+01:00

just realised ive had this blog for a year at inaamag na sia.. eh ngyon lang kasi ako ginanahan mag-blog.. haayyy... dami daming kwento, iba't iba, sari sari... pero wala akong time sa ngyon. it's 5 minutes before the bell so i gotta rush this.. update ko nalang later.

tomorrow is my taekwondo grading and, as usual, im so nervous about it. pero this time isn't as bad as the last one... mejo may halong excitement ang kaba. hehe. i just wish na wala dun si peterpen kasi kung nagkataon, baka hindi ako makagalaw sa sobrang nerbyos at kaba at tense at conscious at lahat lahat na... pero wish me luck nalang.. =S